Words to live by (if you were the craziest man on Earth)

(if you’re not a fan of George Carlin’s “7 dirty words” or many others like it for that matter, don’t read on.)

at 8:31PM on a Tuesday night, a few days prior to leaving for LV I sent the following email to an old friend who used to live here.

“I’m moving to Vegas next week.  Any suggestions?”

It can’t get any more innocent than that, right?  Just a friendly, “hey, i’m moving to your old hood. what should i look out for” kind of thing.

at 8:54PM, 23 minutes later, I received the response below.  So needless to say this email wasn’t crafted, just off the cuff.  You couldn’t make this stuff up if you tried.  Who needs to go to comedy clubs, when you’ve got this guy to entertain you. Oh, and I’ll revisit the list in a future blog post.  Enjoy!

———————————————————

Your going to want to live in Summerlin or Blue Diamond.

If you want to spend the bucks stay in Summerlin.  It’s the nicest part of vegas…

Don’t Gamble.
Goto massage parlors don’t bring hoes to your house unless you don’t mind things being stolen
Don’t eat pain killers and drink
Don’t try Crystal Meth
Don’t BUY Crack
Don’t Sell Drugs
Become a Male Prostitute
always Try to fuck 2 women at the same time
Everything is negotiable  (Everything)
Cheap steaks @ Ellis Island 5.00 filet Mignon
Orleans has nice local pussy working there and stiff drinks  (degenerate gamblers  That’s where I go when I gamble)
Massages are $80 that’s with a happy ending.
Don’t spend over $150 for a blow job
U can fuck any hot hoe for $300 or less…
Favorite food places  (Makino, Kona Grill in Summerlin (great happy hour excellent place for upscale local tail)
Get a Local ID you will need it and besides you get in everywhere free
Check out these places (spearmint rhino, little darlings, sapphires, seamless, the green door, ricks cabaret)
Suncoast is nice to gamble at also.
PT’s is great neighborhood bar
Try Ecstacy at drais it’s good for the soul

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One Response

  1. At least you know the guy wasn’t holding back!

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