Resistance is Futile

The New Jersey Nets ambled into the Staples Center at 0-16 for the season, just one off the NBA record for losses to start a season.  Like a lamb to the slaughter they faced off against the defending NBA Champion Los Angeles Lakers and I was there to see the annihilation first hand.  My bro told me we couldn’t miss the pre-game so I video taped it for your viewing pleasure.

A few observations of the game and it’s surroundings:  1) Sure the opening was wicked cool, but when your franchise has a gazillion championships under it’s belt you’ve got lots to brag about.  For that reason alone the Grizzlies pre-game wouldn’t be as exciting even if they hired Bono to sing and James Cameron to direct.  2) The Laker Girls were “eh”.  I hate to say anything positive about the team that plays at MSG, but the Knick City Dancers would wipe their gluteus maximus’s with said Women of the Lakes.  3) What’s up with free throw shooters having to slap hands with the four other players on the court after every shot.  Does Kobe Bryant really need the support of his teammates after hitting a free throw?  I find it hard to believe that the best player in the league won’t make a shot if he doesn’t go out of his way to touch hands with Pau Gasol.

Only in LA would you find a car like this in an arena parking lot.  Maybe it’s Tiger Woods’ backup car, I hear his Escalade has an indentation of a tree on the front and is out of commission for a while.  Yeah, yeah, I know he wants his privacy but enquiring minds want to know.  Like the saying goes, “For every supermodel in the world, there is a man tired of f*&#ing her.”  Crude, but probably true.

I’ve got one more day in the City of Angels before I head to parts unknown.  Well, they’re known to some people, just not me since I don’t know where my next destination is.  Stay tuned for more ADamVENURES, same Bat-time, same Bat-channel.

The sea was angry that day, my friend…

… Like an old man trying to send back soup in a deli.  I put my personal items in the ditty box then anchored away as we tacked and jibed across the Pacific Ocean from Marina Del Ray.  While Robert tended to the mainsail and jib, I was put in charge of steering the boat into the 5+ foot swells.  Maybe it was my erratic driving, but Lisa didn’t care for it too much and visibly showed her appreciation by hurling multiple times over the side of the boat 10 minutes after hitting the world’s largest oceanic division.

It’s not like she didn’t see it coming.  Lisa prepared for the 3 hour tour by bringing motion sickness wrist bands and a guide book called “The Gilligan’s Island Survival Guide”.  Robert’s a friend/client who was nice enough to bring me out on his boat, which sits just aside his houseboat where he’s lived the last 15 years.

Advantages to living on a houseboat include: the view, the proximity to your sailboat, and the eagerness of women to say they slept with a guy who lives on a houseboat.  Disadvantages include: your house feels like a waterbed, if you’re a sleepwalker the first step is a doozy, and the women who slept with you for the kitsch factor quickly grow tired of peeing over the bow.

More pics and vids from today’s ADamVENTURE click HERE.

Rock Band – Grandparents Edition

Picking up the drums at age 60+ isn’t something that most retirees aspire to, but some brave soles (my mother, father, sister-in-law’s father and his g-friendtook) took to the 4 colored snares and rocked out to “We Got the Beat” and “Eye of the Tiger” at the Manhattan Beach Horowitz household.  It was a sight to be seen, and I’ve included a short video for your viewing pleasure.  My father was one of the better ones, so you can just imagine how bad the others must’ve looked.

Quick, what’s 25 x 25?  How long did it take you to figure it out?  If it took longer than 5 seconds than you’re not smarter than a 4th grader, in this case my 9 year old nephew.  Don’t worry, I’m not smarter than him either.  There’s a trick to these types of problems which I found out today.  All you need to do is take the digit that’s to the left of the five – in this case it’s the number two – and multiply it by one number larger, which in this case is the number three. So you multiply two times three and you get six. Now all you have to do is take the number six, and on the end, place the number 25. So you now have six two five, or, 625.  It works all the way up the multiplication tables for numbers ending in 5.

Speaking of math, have you read Malcolm Gladwell’s “Outliers: The Story of Success”.  It’s a brilliant book and in one chapter he gives two explanations for Asian dominance on international math tests: First, he writes that Asians enjoy an advantage in learning math facts because of distinctive features of their language; and, second, that Asians’ perseverance — a direct result of their traditionally labor-intensive agricultural practices — allows them to master complex ideas that Western students give up on too soon.  Both sound intriguing but when I talked last night with my bro’s friend Warren, who’s ethnically Chinese, he said it’s just that Asian parents are all over their kids’ shit to study.  What do you think?

Turkey Lurkey Doo

We all have things we’d like to take back.  The time you forgot to wrap your rascal and had to get your schmeckle checked out, when you put $500 on red figuring if you just kept doubling your bet you’d eventually recover your losses, or when you pollished off four pounds of mashed potatoes on top of the three pounds you’d eaten just 30 minutes prior on Thanksgiving.  I thought about sticking my hand down my throat to burn a few extra calories this evening but figured that puking on a relative would probably get me kicked out of their will.

There’s nothing better than playing football on the 4th Thursday in November and nothing funnier than hearing the name Horowitz screamed as my nephew runs towards the endzone.  Jewish names play well in Finance, Law and Science but look out of place on a King Crab Fisherman, NASCAR Driver or as a professional football wide receiver.  And the Hall of Fame inductees this year are; Jerry Rice, Michael Irvin and Shlomo Rabinowitz.

As promised this blog will be focused on some of the food I’ve eaten recently in commemoration of the 11,000 calories I consumed today.

Yesterday’s breakfast at Summerland Beach Cafe just outside of Santa Barbara, CA.  I asked the waiter why he bothered putting fresh fruit on something that was clearly meant to be artery clogging on it’s own.  I was happy to pay for breakfast with my friend/investor/mentor David since the last time he was in New York I chose Norma’s at the Parker Meridian for b’fast and it set him back a c-note.  Oops.

This is a a Snake River Ranch Buffalo Burger from the Inn at the Seventh Ray in Topanga Canyon just East of Malibu.  A client of mine’s  parents are the purveyors and they treated me like royalty.  This is one of the most unique places I’ve ever been to and is worth stopping by if your in the area.  I thouroughly enjoyed the meal and met Dr. Ralph afterwards to thank him.  It was all cordial until he started telling me about the evils of Rock music and how it effects the body….just prior to the KISS concert last night.

With all the writing about food, nothing tops what I ate 2 nights ago.  The Tri-Tip Sandwich at Firestone’s Grill in San Luis Obispo is the mac daddy of meat/bun combos.  Shit, I’d fly here just for the taste of that sirloin.  You don’t see that cut of meat on the East Coast and it’s a shame.  Other things the right coast misses out on include earthquakes, constant sunshine and Kobe Bryant.  For the rest of today’s pics click HERE.

They Call Me Dr. Love

Last things first today on this Thanksgiving Eve.  My brother, who shares a box at the Staples Center in LA, had an extra for KISS tonight.  Thanks for bailing Greta.  Mike (with his wicked air guitar) and I rocked out along with Stanley Harvey Eisen (Paul Stanley), Chaim Witz (Gene Simmons), Paul Daniel Frehley (Ace Frehley) and Peter Crisoula (Peter Criss).  And yes, “They still got it”.

Let’s recap: They wear wigs, makeup, costumes, platform shoes, spew fake blood, and are all around 60 years young.  God bless these NY rockers for still kickin it in middle age.  Most people that old are getting excited about the next Raymond rerun and have a big bottle of Maalox in the medicine cabinet.  Do you really want to drink anything that has the word Lox in it anyway?  I love cured fish, but not in my antacid thank you very much.  Check out this other clip.  These guy were great!

Don’t know if you’ve ever seen Paul Stanley on stage, but he plays with his hair like Samantha Fox and dances like George Michael from WHAM!  I was a bit shocked myself, but he sounded great regardless of his sexual orientation.  I got back home and googled “paul stanley gay” and sure enough there were more web pages dedicated to his potential gayness than Brit Brit’s snatch shots.

There were lots of other goings on today, but most of them revolved around great food which I’ll review tomorrow for my ADamVENTURES Thanksgiving Food Review.  I’z gots lots of good cheap eats around the U.S. when and if you travel.  I can’t resist, so one more pic below.  You can always check out ALL the pics and vids HERE.  Oh, and you can check out today’s run HERE.

17 Mile to SLO

I started off my day on 17 Mile Drive at Pebble Beach.  There’s nothing worse than paying $350 for a round at Spanish Bay (part of Pebble Beach), taking a few good practice swings, then slicing the crap out of your tee shot into the Pacific Ocean.  Check out the end of the video as the guy reaches into his pocket for what I’m sure will be the first of many mulligans during the 18.

This place is amazing!  If you took all the things you love (french fries, tube socks, a woman who takes her top off without asking for money) and rolled it into one thing, it would look like…well… it would look like a naked woman who’s wearing tube socks full of french fries.  But almost as pretty as that would be the view from the video below.

Below is a pic of new friends Shannon and Tyler overlooking the 18th green at Pebble Beach.  OK, so “friends” is a loose term.  I provided some self-depricating humor, they pretended to laugh, I obnoxiously handed them my biz card, they pretended to care, then I snapped a couple of pics.  Shannon’s going to run the Rock n’ Roll Las Vegas half marathon next month after popping out kid #2 in July (ahem, MILF).  That’s the third person I know who’s running it along with Bells (who was a proud ADamVENTURES Health Week participant) and a friend from work.

As the sun was setting I popped off the road to snap a couple of pics and found a non-english speaking woman to take one of my slightly tanned mug.  Do you know what the international symbol for picture taking is?  Hold your thumb horizontal, move your pointer finger in an up and down motion, and smile as if you got younger on your birthday.  Worked like a charm.  Honestly, doesn’t the picture look fake?  Looks like I went to K-Mart, asked for the Pacific Coast Highway background then paid for the (1) 8×10, 4 (3×5) and (24) wallet size portraits.  C’mon, how many people are you really handing out 24 wallet pics to.  You know the only people that aren’t tossing them in the trashola are the g-parents.

No joking here, this thing was the thizzle cizzle mizzle.  Fo’ shizzle my nizzle?

Lastly, headed to S(an) L(uis) O(bispo) to crash for the eve.  New buddy Tyler recommended the Tri-Tip sandwich from Firestone Grill in SLO.  It was amazing.  Maybe the best sandwich I’ve ever eaten.  Thanks man!

For the rest of today’s pics and vids click HERE.  There are some friggin amazing shots if I do say so myself.

Yes Way, San Jose!

Thanks to everyone who participated in ADamVENTURES Health Week.  I’ve heard a great many things from my readers and your stomachs and livers thank you from the bottom of their kidneys.  As for me, I finished off the week with a great big bang and set personal best running records.  Check out the video below.

My longest run ever today coincided with my 100th day of exercise in a row!!!  I can’t think of anything else I’ve ever done 100 days in a row, even my bowel movements aren’t that consistent.  I know, I know, TMI.  Running on concrete around Cisco’s corporate headquarters isn’t the sexiest place to jog, but I had the fortune of great weather and the need to get back to the hotel after getting lost in the corporate park.  I drew a little map for my run so I wouldn’t get lost, but it’s amazing what little sense of direction I have.  I must’ve picked up that trait from my mother, along with her blue eyes.  Thanks Mom.

Today, much of the day was spent working.  A wise man once said “I don’t want to sell anything, buy anything, or process anything as a career. I don’t want to sell anything bought or processed, or buy anything sold or processed, or process anything sold, bought, or processed, or repair anything sold, bought, or processed. You know, as a career, I don’t want to do that.”  So if you don’t want to do any of the above, just move to California, leave work at 4pm and smoke your government approved medical Mary Jane until you’ve licked the inside of the doritos bag clean.

Other than adult stores (almost had a freudian slip and typed adult sores which is somewhat related) and beef jerky, Kansas highways are also famous for rocks flying off the back of trucks which made me spend my afternoon with the windshield repair dude.  I googled windshield repair and had a guy come to the hotel, fix the repair and my ins co paid for it.  Sweet!

Neil and I finished off the night in downtown San Jose.  He’s the one on the right without the long hair and fake boobs. Not that there’s anything wrong with long hair and fake boobs, that’s just not Neil.  Tomorrow I’m heading down the Pacific Coast Highway to gawk at nature’s other beauty.

Everyone has one more day to send in their responses to yesterday’s puzzle.  If you love me, you’ll try and answer it (ouch!).  It’s not that hard, someone already solved it, but since they’re a previous winner, I wanted to give someone else a chance at their 15 minutes of fame.

Also you can check out my other pics and vids from yesterday and today HERE.