Stuff I miss (and don’t) about New York

Miss – I sadly have almost no use for my iPhone (3G variety) since I’m always either at the office, home or in the car.  There’s virtually no commuting (live 1/2 mile from office), walking, or other in between time to spend QT w/ my apple goodness.  Ahh, the times I used to rudely look up answers while company sat and sneered seem to have gone by the wayside.

Don’t miss – Stinkin’ humidity.  Please no hate-filled responses to me saying the heat here isn’t bad.  107 today and easy to walk around w/ out sweating.  OK, so it feels like a very, very, very large hair dryer is blowing on you.  All it takes in NYC for my scalp pours to open up like niagra falls is 75 degrees with 70% humidity.  So yes, I like the dry heat.

Miss – Used to podcast lots-o-media and listen to on said iPhone, but because I don’t commute I now never listen to NPR shows This American Life, All Things Considered, Fresh Air and On The Media.  Coming home and just standing in the hallway while listening to the podcasts just doesn’t sound like a viable option.  What am I supposed to do while listening to Ira Glass’s brilliant hour, dust my furniture?

Don’t miss – The cost of living.  I joined a billion square foot gym open 24/7 365 with every amenity (minus 1) under the sun for $35/month.  And because they don’t have a basketball court, I might join a second gym for another $25/month.  I think for another $30/month (equaling the cost of an NYC gym) I can get a stripper to blow (air on) me while running on the treadmill.

Miss – Walking.  I’m pretty sure within a few months my legs will be rendered useless.  Realistically I need them for 2 purposes here, to stand while taking a shower and to push the gas pedal on the nissan 4-banger.  I’ve walked up and down the strip a few times, but it gets annoying the thousandth time someone tries to hand you a pamphlet for some blonde prostitute.  Although playing Las Vegas’ version of Jewish Geography could be quite fun.  That’s when you know the girl on the advertisement from your Thursday night spin class.

Don’t miss – Concrete.  I wake up every morning and eat breakfast while looking out at Red Rock Canyon.  Outside the time LB and I had a wanna be porn star living across the way, for the most part staring at a brick building just isn’t very motivating.

This is of course just a sampling of random thoughts (pros and cons needed to be even lest people think I’m running back to Gotham) in my head at 11pm on Tuesday.  It’s a given of course that I miss the people most of all.

@ the Holy Land to find “Ideas Worth Spreading”

I was feeling home sick or was it homeland sick (whichever one costs a $1,200 plane ticket to heal is the one I had)?  Needing to reconnect with my people after a few months in Sin City, I headed east to the Empire State and the concrete jungle where dreams are made of.  After three days back home I felt I needed more, so off I went to the real homeland, Israel.

First stop Jaffa (one of the oldest ports in the world), a beautiful city on the Mediterranean, for the 2nd best hummus in Tel Aviv.  Supposedly the best hummus was off limits to me as they didn’t want me to blow my load on the first day.  Or maybe it was because the best hummus was on the other side of town and this one was down the block.  Damn those Jews for holding out on me.

A show of hands, how many people know what TED is?  Higher please, I can’t see anyone’s elbows above their heads.  TED www.ted.com has nothing to do with Mr Turner, the defunct airline or the guy from How I Met Your Mother (btw NPH’s Barney Stinson is the funniest character on the tube).  TED (short for Technology, Entertainment, Design) is a U.S. private non-profit foundation that is best known for its conferences devoted to what it calls “ideas worth spreading”.  As KindAdRock says Check-ch-check-check-check-ch-check it out.  Anywho, went to the TEDx Tel Aviv conf, was awesome, buddy Michael rocked in helping put it together, rode an electric car, met some cool peeps.  Moving on.

Next day Michael and I went to the beach for Shakshouka (left), Kibbutz HaOgen for family time, Nazareth to check out where Jesus hailed, Sea of Galilee for no reason, then to Afula for a traditional Arab meal (right).  Great day checking out Israel’s beautiful north.

That’s it for part 1.  Part 2 gets you Jerusalem, The Dead Sea and other ADamVENTURES.  Please note:  if you’re not linked into my twitter or facebook accounts, please enter your email address on the top left hand side of the blog to get notifications when I post.  This way you don’t have to hit the site every day wondering if I’m in a writing mood.  For all my Israel pics http://picasaweb.google.com/adamhorowitz/IsraelTrip42552#

Words to live by (if you were the craziest man on Earth)

(if you’re not a fan of George Carlin’s “7 dirty words” or many others like it for that matter, don’t read on.)

at 8:31PM on a Tuesday night, a few days prior to leaving for LV I sent the following email to an old friend who used to live here.

“I’m moving to Vegas next week.  Any suggestions?”

It can’t get any more innocent than that, right?  Just a friendly, “hey, i’m moving to your old hood. what should i look out for” kind of thing.

at 8:54PM, 23 minutes later, I received the response below.  So needless to say this email wasn’t crafted, just off the cuff.  You couldn’t make this stuff up if you tried.  Who needs to go to comedy clubs, when you’ve got this guy to entertain you. Oh, and I’ll revisit the list in a future blog post.  Enjoy!

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Your going to want to live in Summerlin or Blue Diamond.

If you want to spend the bucks stay in Summerlin.  It’s the nicest part of vegas…

Don’t Gamble.
Goto massage parlors don’t bring hoes to your house unless you don’t mind things being stolen
Don’t eat pain killers and drink
Don’t try Crystal Meth
Don’t BUY Crack
Don’t Sell Drugs
Become a Male Prostitute
always Try to fuck 2 women at the same time
Everything is negotiable  (Everything)
Cheap steaks @ Ellis Island 5.00 filet Mignon
Orleans has nice local pussy working there and stiff drinks  (degenerate gamblers  That’s where I go when I gamble)
Massages are $80 that’s with a happy ending.
Don’t spend over $150 for a blow job
U can fuck any hot hoe for $300 or less…
Favorite food places  (Makino, Kona Grill in Summerlin (great happy hour excellent place for upscale local tail)
Get a Local ID you will need it and besides you get in everywhere free
Check out these places (spearmint rhino, little darlings, sapphires, seamless, the green door, ricks cabaret)
Suncoast is nice to gamble at also.
PT’s is great neighborhood bar
Try Ecstacy at drais it’s good for the soul

Go West Young Man and This Time Stay There!

Young is of course a relative term and I’m not quite sure who Horace Greeley was referring to when he famously advised in a July 13, 1865 editorial “Go West, young man, go West and grow up with the country.”  Well I’m not that young, but there’s always room for a little growing up so why not.  This is my second trip out here in the last few months but since I signed an annual lease I might as well make the best of what the City of Sin has to offer.

Last we left off, I was packing my things in NYC and ready to start anew in a city that only a few weeks prior I couldn’t locate on a map.  Thank goodness for GPS and the only 1 turn necessary to drive from NYC to LV.  Get on Route 80 and drive 2,000 miles to Salt Lake City, once there make a left onto Route 15.  Drive another 500 miles and when you see lots-o-neon, park the car, you’re now home.  An easy drive I thought (at 80+ MPH – see pic below in Nebraska) for someone who just drove 13,000…but I’d be wrong.

The roads got so icy heading up to Cheyenne, Wyoming that I drove the last 3 hours of my 13 hour drive that day under 20 mph.  One guy cruised passed me doing 40 which prompted me to think, “what’s he got that I haven’t”.  It was of course a reference to his tires and not any deep rooted psychological deficiency.  Vindication came just 30 seconds later as his car started doing 360s in the middle of the road.  He would’ve gotten a high technical score from the Bulgarian judge in the X-Games for his effort.  Luckily there was nobody else on the road for his car to slam into.

I finally arrived and settled down in my spacious apt overlooking the Red Rock Canyon (pic below from my balcony) and Red Rock Casino (bottom pic also from my balcony).  Oh and the new digs are at: 650 S. Town Center Drive, Apt 2023, Las Vegas, Nevada 89144.  The next post will update you on my first month in chilly Las Vegas.  Until then…

Le tour du pays en cent jours

Jules Verne’s got nothing on ADamVENTURES when it comes to touring the US.  In 1873 he posted one really big blog about Phileas Fogg’s attempt to circumnavigate the world in 80 days.  I give you mine in little bite size chunks to keep you on the edge of your seat.  But alas, I’ve been lax and I ask for forgiveness readers for I have sinned.  It’s been two months since my last blog posting.  In penance I’ll bet 3 hail mary’s on red and take the Knicks and the under tonight.

There will certainly be more than one blog post to update my faithful on the adamventures from Feb 1st when I was last seen heading back to Gotham City and the cold Winter that awaited.  The week after the last post saw me travel to Charleston, South Carolina, which was frikkin gourjuss as us Jersey Shore folks say it, Richmond VA, South Jersey for the Superbowl and back to good ole NYC.

Final tally:  I was gone for 100 days, spent time in 26 states, and racked up 13,000 miles.

My journey across the US and back was pretty relaxed given the plethora of tasks on my list needed to settle down…but searching for an NYC apartment in the area I wanted, at the price I wanted, with the space I wanted was daunting to say the least.  A 5 minute phone call to my friend Amnon 4 days after arriving on Jason Loeb’s couch brought me to where I am today, Las Vegas BABY!

I had a couple of weeks to see friends/family/colleagues and say so long, farewell auf wiedersehen, adieu adieu, adieu to you and you and you.  In the video below, a couple days before my departure, I met up with Ari who’s building a 70 story building downtown.  WOW, what a view!

Two weeks after that fateful call I hit the road.  I would’ve left a day earlier but 18 inches of snow slowed me down (see pic below of Union Square).

Thanks to JLoeb for letting me crash and to everyone else who could not have been more supportive of my decision, rational or not 😉

It’ll take me a few more blog posts to catch up to today, the last day in March.  Until then, same bat channel, same bat time.  Adam

I’m running down the road tryin’ to loosen my load

I’d say “I’m heading home” but since I’m currently homeless it’s really just driving north and parking my car somewhere to be determined.  The ADamVENTURES site continues to get lots of viewers on a daily basis and there’s probably been some disappointment as the writing has slowed to a trickle or at best an inconsistant drip.  Although I won’t be detailing any grand adventures this evening, sharing my current whereabouts is time worth spending.

After a month in not-s0-sunny South Florida (not to be confused with the University of South Florida which isn’t located in South Florida…more closely Central Western Florida) it was time to move on and face the harsh reality of traveling towards the eskimos and donning a wool hat before the Spring thaw.  The last few days of Enero brought me back to Tampa to celebrate the invasion of the Spanish pirates also known as Gasparilla.  The rain dampened the festivities but we managed to party hop for 12 hours or so.  Not the longest fest in history, but one that’s not too shabby for peoples nearing the start of their fifth decade.

Currently in Atlanta with upcoming stops over the next fortnight (eh, maybe a 1/2 fortnight) including but not limited to Charleston, Raleigh, Richmond, DC, Baltimore and a final stop at Seaside Heights to party at Club Karma w/ JWoww and the Situation.  If anyone has final ideas prior to the ADamVENTURE train pulling into the station let it be heard.

Oh, and if you’ve some extra time please make me a snuggie (http://www.instructables.com/id/Make-Your-Own-Snuggie/) just not the leopard print shown in the video.

Adam

Hi. I’m looking for a man first name Hugh last name Jass.

Bart: Hi. I’m looking for a man first name Hugh last name Jass.
Moe: Uh, Hugh Jass? Oh, somebody check the men’s room for a Hugh Jass!
(There is a Hugh Jass at Moe’s; he takes the call)
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In honor of tonight’s 20th Anniversary of The Simpsons, I present today’s ADamVENTURES blog post as an homage to Homer and the gang in Haiku.
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Hit the road this Fall,
Drove from New York to Left Coast.
Cowabunga dude!
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Left Cali late Nov.
Plunging temperatures came.
30s in Vegas, doh!
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Searching for the warmth.
Florida in Jan. best bet
Very cold.  ¡Ay, caramba!
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Met college roommate
Our stomachs larger this year
Mmm crumbled-up cookie things
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In Feb heading North.
Scared about freezing tuchas.
Don’t have a cow man!
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